BE AN ALLY
Be there.
“What I find is best for me; I’d prefer you say the wrong thing than nothing at all. So, one of the worst things you can say to someone who you may think has an eating disorder or has opened up to you is just ignoring it because you already feel invisible, you already feel worthless. Not bringing it up is doing a disservice to both of you. So, I think just mustering that courage and even if you do say the wrong thing, at least you’ve said something because it really means a lot to that person. [...] Talk around the eating part and ask them more about their emotions and their feelings, and how they’ve been doing, if anything’s changed in their life lately.”
- Chloë Grande
“I wish that more people had come to me and said ‘how are you feeling’, ‘what’s going on’, and ‘what do you need help with’.[...] If someone had come to be and said ‘Emily, why do you feel that you have to control everything? Do you want to talk; what’s going on?’, it would have been so much more beneficial than just saying ‘hey, eat more.’”
- Emily Formea
“It’s ok to say, “I’m worried about you, you don’t seem happy, what can I do? I’m here for you”, that’s it, don’t try to come up with solutions because you don’t know and if you’re a parent or a spouse, I would say, do some research, because even if the person isn’t ready to get help yet, if they do become ready, you have the information necessary right away and they can get started. So find support and offer it, but don’t push it. So it’s just sort of, letting them know, you’re not judging them, you care about them, and you’re there for them.”
- Marci Warhaft
“Validating that it is an illness, that there’s a lot of silence and secrecy with an eating disorder. It’s a very maladaptive illness which means it wants to protect itself, it doesn’t want anybody in who wants to help so it can be very challenging to support somebody.”
- Michelle from NEDIC
"Everybody is responsible for a culture change, so if we want a society where we are being less judgmental about peoples’ physical appearances and we have more diversity and acceptance, then everybody has the role of playing that. And that can even be conversations with your friends and family and how you show up and what you say. Developing a healthy sense of self-esteem. Self-esteem to me is, includes body image but is not just body image."
- Michelle Scott
“As an ally, you kinda have to let them come to you as opposed to you putting yourself in the position of, ‘hey, I’m here, so now what?’”
- Steph Velasquez